B News :

Category: Furlough Fun

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Oct
04

Day 4: Scandal in the Kitchen

Day four of furlough. I awoke at 6:30 a.m. to find Mittens holding an impromptu press conference from atop the laundry basket. He claimed victory in the “Birdgate” investigation, citing “no credible evidence of foreign avian interference.” The committee adjourned […]

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Oct
03

Day 3: First Reports From the Front

Day three of furlough. I woke at 6 AM, not out of discipline but because Remington declared a state of emergency over a suspicious leaf in the backyard. Crisis averted, democracy preserved. Breakfast was once again Cinnamon & Brown Sugar […]

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Oct
02

Day 2: Oatmeal Diplomacy

Day two of furlough. I woke up at 7 AM sharp, proof that discipline still courses through my veins, even if bile no longer does. The gallbladder may be gone, but my sense of duty remains intact. And also sore. […]

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Oct
01

Day 1: The Sock Drawer Rebellion

Day one of furlough. I set my alarm anyway, discipline must be maintained, only to turn it off immediately and sleep until 10. This was a tactical decision, not laziness. Recovery from gallbladder extraction requires precision napping. The doctors removed […]